Friday, April 9, 2010

Unapproved bodily fluids

So which bodily fluids are unapproved for the toilet, anyway? 

During my active duty tenure, I try to take pictures of signs like this that I see.  I can share a few others soon.  One favorite is the one that says, "Iraqi free zone," and points left toward a landfill.  With all of the rules we have, it seems like they should require all of the sign writers to pass some kind of written english competency test.  In addition, they should at least do their homework as to which part of the law they are referencing.  Article 78 in the UCMJ concerns violations as an "accessory after the fact" so flushing unapproved bodily fluids is likely not punishable by the UCMJ, at least not under Article 78.  It is funny how the world, this world, at least, is so punitive.  Are we supposed to shudder in our boots when we see, "Punishable under Article ____ in the UCMJ?"  That is like saying, "Punishable under page 4 of the constitution."  The acronym "UCMJ" just carries such foreboding power among we Pavlovian dogs for reasons we can only explain as conditioning.

I had once noticed a funny sign in the military advertising a talk for a gastroenterologist entitled, "The History of the GI Tract."  Seriously.  Really.  This compendium of mastication, digestion and elimination, given by a senior colonel who had risen to his rank by virture of the military's loss of his competition over 25 years, was accompanied by several email reminders of his visit complete with the requisite warning of required faculty attendence...  ...or what?  We would not be present to heckle him?

Anyway, sometimes it is like being Hogan or one of his Heroes, not held by the Germans, but rather in the captivity of the Literalists and syncophants.  Find levity where you can get it.

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